Last But Not Least

This is my last blog entry in this particular blog.
Not just because I turned 41 today and the title would seem pretty odd from here on in.
But because I've completed most of my resolutions and I'm starting a new year.
But most of all because of how this year started.

So after a nice Christmas with family and little snow in TO, we did go to Hawaii as planned and stayed on the island of Oahu at the awesome Aulani Disney Resort.  It just opened in October so of course everything was brand-spanking new and the help was eager to please, from the valets to the check-in people to the concierge to the wait staff.  I think any one of them would have ran and got a tissue for my runny nose if I'd asked them.

And of course, in Disney style, it was suited to adults and kids at the same time - classy looks, romantic ambiance, but with three heated outdoor pools, water tubing down a slide, and a drifting "stream" from the slide that took you on a 10-minute ride around the grounds.  Not to mention the mandatory Disney character walking around every so often for photos. 

My son challenging Mickey
to an ear-fight.

All in all it was a glorious week, escaping the cold to lie on beaches, swim in warm water, and eat in nice restaurants, all thanks to Children's Wish. 

The only real drag was that my wife's supervisor wouldn't give her the day off to fly out with us (WTF?) so we actually had to buy my wife a separate plane ticket out of pocket, which meant that she forfeited the return ticket and we had to buy one of those too.  Which then meant that Daddy had the three kids for 12 hours of plane travel to and from Honolulu.  No wonder I ended up with a head cold coming back.

So we got back two Saturdays ago, unpacked a little, overslept on the Monday but dragged ourselves into school and work.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Just before noon, I got a call on my cell from my wife's stepmother that my wife's father had gone under while swimming in the pool that morning.  They think it was a heart attack.  They tried CPR for over an hour and couldn't revive him.  It doesn't look good.

We picked up the kids and drove out to Montreal that afternoon, but Peter was already fading fast.  Very few signs of brain activity.  The machines were keeping him alive.  After a couple of agonizing days, after his third son arrived from South Africa to say goodbye, we all said goodbye to Dr. Peter Gruner, my father-in-law and a pretty great guy.

I'll leave the tributes to his blog: http://rememberingpeter.tumblr.com/.

But Peter's death did leave a mark, and I hope to carry his compassion for others in me the rest of my waking days.  Oh, and the Heart and Stroke Foundation fundraising this year is for him.  God, I hope I stop having people to dedicate my fundraising to.

And then pulling all of that somewhat together, my wife and I just came back from seeing "The Descendants", since it was praised at the awards and set in Hawaii.  This despite the fact that I'm not a Clooney fan, except for the Oceans-style movies which I think is about all he's good for.  Little did we know that this movie explored death in many of the same ways we just had.  What a great, bizarre, fitting way to bring me to a point of ending the blog.  Damn you, George Clooney.

Way too much footage of Clooney running and his face trying to carry a scene,

but a touching story nonetheless and way too relevant for me right now.

So I know my followers and readers haven't been many, but if you've read any of my postings, Mahalo.

Ending with a "report card" on myself would seem trite, and I accomplished almost all of what I wanted to in my 40th year. 

Now it's time to reinvent myself again in my 41st.  Aloha.



The Problem with Christmas

Now that we're on the other side of that magical day (Merry Christmas, BTW), I have an observation to make:  I think we kind of bore ourselves as adults with Christmas by starting to celebrate it waaaaayyyy too early but then not at all afterwards.  Of course, a lot has already been said about reducing that holy day to simply a day of gift-giving, and the materialism-consumerism that goes with that, so I won't beat on that drum.

But it drives me even crazier that all the sales, decorations (who hasn't noticed?), and Christmas songs on the radio get us to start celebrating the holiday at least a month before the actual day itself, to the point that there's actually a sense of relief when it's over.  And then after Christmas day, nothing. 

All the buildup and hype, all the messages on TV and the news promoting goodwill and "making Christmas last", and then no mention of it after the 25th.  Except of course for Boxing Day sales up here in Canada. 

Does anyone even recognize that Christmas is actually an eight-day feast (called an "octave") in Christianity?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octave_(liturgical)

OK, so that gives away my Catholic roots, but by now my values should be no surprise to anyone reading this blog.

So I can see where, as adults, we get cynical and even start dreading a holiday that really has the potential to inspire us and carry us into the new year with new hope and a sense of promise.


And to resist the trend, we're determined as a family to not only keep the decorations up for a week or two after Dec. 25th, but to watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music in the days that follow.  For example, we just watched Disney's "A Christmas Carol" last night, the 27th, for the first time this season.  Great animation, decent scripting, but it feels too much like it was made for 3D if you ask me.  Too many scenes of Scrooge riding/flying through the air and things rather obviously being thrown at the screen for effect. 

And it seems like that's what Robert Zemeckis was going for:

I think Jim Carrey sums it up well when he says: "We were able to finally do what Charles Dickens wrote". 

Yeah, Jim, Charles was aiming for that 3-D thrill ride thing in many of his stories.

But just to avoid sounding like a Scrooge myself, here's my top-ten list of Christmas songs/versions, for those raised on the pop Christmas tunes we've been hearing on the radio (nonstop on CHFI here in Toronto since U.S. Black Friday!).  In no particular order:

1) Mahalia Jackson's "Silent Night" or "Joy to the World" - the epitome of soulful gospel singing

2) The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" - not a sweet and pious song, but it rocks and inspires

3) Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - again not a religious song, but the best version and the original from "Meet Me in St. Louis"

4) Elvis singing "O Little Town of Bethlehem" - or pretty much any Christmas song

5) Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" - really hate the song since Madonna's version, but Eartha makes it sexy in a way that M could never

6) Stevie Nicks' "Silent Night" - not the classiest version, but I don't get tired of it (also amazed that she sang it)

7) Sting's "The Angel Gabriel" - ditto

8) Celine Dion's "O Holy Night" - very few singers that comfortably hit the high notes, but CD does it

9) Boney M's "Mary's Boy Child" - timeless though overplayed

10) Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" - even more overplayed, but I can't leave Bing off the list and he made the song what it is

Really interesting, when you think about it, how many non-believers and Hollywood types made Christmas songs popular.  If I were more paranoid I'd subscribe to a conspiracy theory about replacing Jesus with Santa Claus. 

But I'll save that for my senior years.

Mo

I kept it til the weekend, but the mo' has to go.

Never heard of Movember* when we lived Stateside, but I figured I'd give it a try this year.  Realized I kinda liked the Van Dyke when I had it, but remembered that wifey was in the opposite camp.

*For those who haven't heard of it yet, Movember is a "moustache-growing charity event held during November each year that raises funds and awareness for men's health issues, and specifically protate cancer (from www.movember.com).

In other news, I turned 40 this week.  Finally it sunk in.  The occasion was an all-staff meeting on Tuesday where I was supposed to speak briefly on a new project in our agency and decided to open with a joke.  It never occurred to me that over half the audience wouldn't get a joke about the Lone Ranger and Tonto, since most were under 30 and about a quarter of the crowd were first-generation Canadians (ie not apt to get a dated pop-culture reference). 

Tight pants and fringes?  You'd think it was the 70's.

In case you're curious, the joke is about LR and T being chased by a pack of angry Indians (I had to explain that I meant North American Indians, not the local kind, which you'd think would have clued me in as to how badly the joke was going to land).  They come to the edge of a cliff and LR says, "Well, old friend, it looks like we've reached the end of the road," to which T replies, "What you mean 'we', Kimosabe?". 

And then silence.  A couple of chuckles at most.  From almost 200 people. 

It was only when I made the tie-in with my subject by saying "Partnerships can be tricky" that the crowd roared.  Thankfully my other one-liners got more consistent laughs, but for 5 minutes of amateur stand-up, it was painful.  It wasn't on my bucket list, but let's just say I'm glad I did it and I'll check it off and move on.

BTW on a completely different subject, who doesn't love James Spader as Robert California on The Office this season? 

They may have kept the series alive a little while longer after Steve Carell's departure.  Hilarious episode this past week about RC's wife getting a job at Dunder-Mifflin.  Surprising that they still find scenarios like misunderstanding-but-trying-to-please-a-demanding-boss for us to relate to after 7 seasons.

And now, the moustache song:

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Ok, so it's been done before - plenty of times.  But what other pop culture "change" reference can top Bowie?  Tears for Fears?  Blecch.

Believe it or not, these guys are married with kids -
and not to each other.  It was the 80's, people.

This past spring, a long-time veteran of my department retired, which triggered another veteran to go on leave, and a younger worker to plan to leave next spring.  And then another staff from my department took a new contract within the agency and won't be back to my team until next year.  All this turnover means a lot of new faces and some instability on my team, but ultimately a huge potential for growth, which is exciting.  All the same it would be nice if the turnover happened in trickles instead of this wave...

                                           

And then a fellow middle-manager has announced that he's retiring in the next two years, and a senior manager even sooner (shout out to Gord and Jim!).  That'll be making room for some new blood too, which is great, but we'll also be losing two good men in the agency, which is lousy -- come to think of it, including my veteran staff that's three men gone out of the 10-12 in all.  A big loss.  Or, as Flannery put it,

                                                                     

So, time for some corporate re-structuring, some organizational review and improvement.
Promotion?  Yes, please!


Speaking of which, is the re-structuring of the cast of House MD (yet again) an improvement?  Well, if it were just the addition of Dr. Chi Park (Charlyne Li), I'd give a decided no.

                                                                         

But with the addition of Dr. Jessica Adams (Odette Annable), I'd say definitely yes.  Rrrowrr!
                                                                        

And Dr.'s Chase and Taub returning this evening just restores a little of the balance.  My prediction, though, is they'll have to bring Dr. Lisa "Cuddy" Edelstein back and demote Dr. Foreman (Omar Epps) before the end of the season, just for closure. 

And some more good news:  we've heard that Bethany got her wish from the good folks at the Make-A-Wish Foundation, so we'll be going to Hawaii after Christmas this year (woohoo!) and maybe put her illness behind us. 

Can you say Mele Kalikimaka?

Untherapeutic Killing

I for one think it's unfortunate that Ghadafi was killed this week. 

I think we've all seen enough photos of the guy lately, so here's
one of the culvert he was hiding in instead.

I realize I'm in the minority on this one, but I don't mean it like those who insist that he deserved a trial.  I just think the victims and families of victims of his brutality over the years - including the terrorism he funded - they deserved a trial to be able to yell, swear, and possibly spit on the guy who caused them so much pain.  Like with all the evil people out there - dictators, serial killers, parking meter officers - a quick beating and death by a small angry mob seems unfair to those who would have liked more closure.  But maybe that's just me.

Enough about him - IMO we also spend way too much media time and attention on the evil people, thereby glorifying them (and their evil) in our minds.


Time for a check-in on the 40-year old goal list for the year:

1. Start a new blog (woohoo!)   DONE
2. Take karate lessons    Have a coupon and a plan
3. Maintain the new blog (stupid list...)    SURPRISINGLY, STILL GOING STRONG
4. Start investigating how to get my PhD by age 50   Done investigating (see prev blogs)
5. Get a Bb Tablet as soon as they come out (maybe even wait in line like the diehards)   NOT DONE
6. Copy those videotapes of our 2005 trip to Ireland   ON TAPE 6!
7. Give my kids more hugs   DONE
8. Say "I love you" more   DONE

And lest you think I've taken the last two lightly, I've actually very consciously worked into my daily routines more hugging and "I love you"s - at least to the kids.  It doesn't tend to go over so well in the workplace.

                                         

The Blackberry thing is just a hard one to swallow for me.  Take this article from a couple of days ago - it's written by a guy at the InfoWorld.com website, but I thought it was neat that Google listed it first as being in The Zimbabwe Telegraph website:

http://www.zimtelegraph.com/?p=2308

I mean, can Rim save the Playbook?  Probably not.  So price it to sell, Rim, and put out a new version of the device, like you do with phones and like Apple's doing with the iPad.  And get the technology right like you did with the Blackberry's, fools.  You still have a market out there of business types who don't want to type on an iPhone.  I love my Bb, and wouldn't trade it, but I'd love a tablet that syncs with it without all the glitches.  Until then, I'm not shelling out half a grand for a Playbook.  Period.

What is it about being in power that makes men so arrogant and greedy?  And please don't tell me St. Steve of Cupertino was an exception - he was just driven more by making better gadgets than more money, once he'd made his first billion.  That didn't stop him from making toys that were stubbornly proprietary and high-priced. 

                                                         
Or maybe it's more our perception of dictators than the reality. 
Or maybe it's not who the person is but what privilege, power, and disconnectedness from others ultimately does to them.  Maybe it's not in their character to begin with, but what their circumstance calls from them. 

Nah.

A Thanksgiving Poem

Thanks.

Like pulling teeth
Or a toddler's manners
Entangled in self
Chasing ambulances

Occasional drips
And rarer gushes
Holes poked by calendar
Or conscience

Unlocking me
Turning inside out
The tags show
It's all Gift

Giving.

Niagara Falls

OK, so after a second visit in less than 3 months, I'm ready to give my pointers:

     1)  Plan to overspend on almost everything (very familiar to most Canadians).
     2)  Choose your eating spots really wisely.
     3)  Either set a limit on how many attractions you plan to visit, or brace yourself for a lot of crap.

Now don't get me wrong - the Falls themselves (the Canadian horseshoe one and the U.S. one) are a marvel to behold and awe-inspiring to the point that you want to set up a lawn chair and sit in front of them for hours, which some people do.  They are literally awe-inspiring in the way that every natural wonder of the world (though the Falls isn't technically on the list) moves you to stare in awe and reflect on your life, the beauty of nature, and your place in the universe.  Stuff like that.

But of course like every wonder of the world, you have to expect that the celebrity of the place will be bastardized by the kitschy attractions, the endless array of degrading souvenirs, and the novelty restaurants/stores.  In Canada we've become as good at it as anyone.

So if you haven't gone yet (or haven't been in a while), you might also benefit from the experience - and excessive spending - of someone like me who values their hard-earned cash but isn't afraid of admitting he got suckered by things like:

The Clifton Hill Attractions.  I'd like to be dramatic and extremist and say "avoid everything on this street at all costs", but instead I'd suggest avoiding most things on this street, such as:

• the little-kid attractions (the "legobrickland" is one big room with a great exhibit but next-to-nothing interactive - you'll ooh and ahh and take pictures but leave after 10 mins; the playland is just a notch above McD's but you pay for it)
• the Ripley's attractions (unless you've never been to a Believe-It-Or-Not Museum, in which case this one is impressive but has pretty much the same as every other BION museum in the world)
• the 4-D rides (very short films, Ripley's had greasy glasses and seats, and if you've been to  Disney-Universal these ones pale in comparison)
• the Guiness Records museum (not interactive, many plaques/photos on the walls, and the fun games/interactive parts you pay for like an arcade game)
• the arcades (you buy tokens and get tickets like that popuar "cheesy" restaurant chain that most parents know, but you pay 50 cents a token!)
• the wax museums (lame, lame, lame - maybe this was impressive 50 years ago, but many of the newer "likenesses" are terrible)

EXCEPTIONS/SOLUTIONS: 

1. the Ripley's BION museum if you haven't been to one already (see#2): very entertaining compared to most of the "museums" on the strip
2. the Fudge Factory: pricey but you see them making fudge, get free tastes, and it's a great assortment of candy
3. the Niagara Sky Wheel: I may get some flak for this one, but I like ferris wheels, $10 an adult was reasonable, and the view is awesome - and after dark you get extra spins and some necking-time with the missus
4. the haunted houses: only if you really enjoy being scared by loud noises, gruesome scenes, and being grabbed by strange staff in the dark, which I don't

View from the Sky Wheel

The Other Local Attractions.  Actually not as bad overall as the CH ones, but I'd have to give the "thumbs down" to:

• the "indoor sky diving" - you pay almost $100 for 45 mins ("with lessons"), but the customers we watched only spent 10 mins in the machine flopping around 5 ft off the ground
• the Imax theatre - snack bar was stale food, the film was a very dated documentary about the Falls (not 3D) that had some interested facts I could have read about instead of watching a "B" movie
• the Greg F theatre - dinner theatre with a magician:  the food was mediocre and being too close ruined the sleight-of-hand for me (see my post in June)

EXCEPTIONS/SOLUTIONS:

1. the Falls themselves (see above) - we did the Maid of the Mist and the Journey Behind the Falls: the boat ride puts you right in the middle but it's hard to see and take photos, while the walk puts you on a landing next to the Falls where it's easier to stand and take it in
2. the Fallsview Indoor Waterpark - not cheap, but a pretty good indoor WP; gets old after an hour or two but great to come back to after a hot day
3. the Skylon Tower - overpriced if you bring the kids, but for a couple it's an above-average meal with classy service (feel free to dress up) and an awesome rotating view of the falls
4. the casinos (Fallsview and Casino Niagara being the biggest): a blast if you like blowing your money on games of chance, paying for overpriced food and drink, and catching the occasional 80's rock group trying to cash in, which I don't

                                                

View from the landing at Journey Behind the Falls 

The Hotels.  Instead of describing what the other travel websites can tell you, let me boil it down to a few things:

1. The closer to the Falls, the more expensive the hotel - a cheap hotel near the Falls is either a motel or unsanitary or both.
2. The more expensive hotels don't give you much more for that extra $100 a night, except a shorter walk/drive; parking is NEVER FREE (2 hotels we visited) and the food is usually mediocre (I'm looking at you, Best Western!).
3. "Pet friendly" means you can leave your pet in the room or the hotel's kennel ONLY at the Best Western - the Sheraton lets you have a pet but it can't be left anywhere.
4. There are much cheaper hotels just outside the city (not the motels, the hotels people!) if you don't mind driving in and out of the Falls area which is not a bad commute.
5. Bottom line: if you have a vehicle I'd advise lodging outside the Falls area, since you'll have to pay for parking anyway; if you don't  have a vehilce you'll pay for it since decent lodging within walking distance of the Falls is ridiculously expensive ($250-$300 a night after fees and taxes).

The Restaurants.  And instead of turning into a restaurant critic, some tips:

1. Most places will overcharge based on being in Niagara Falls, so just brace yourself for that.  No decent entree to be found for under $15 a person, but like I said, Canadians are used to that. 
2. My suggestion?  Either go with what you know (The Keg, Thai Express for lunch, Rainforest Cafe for the kids) or you roll the dice with that $15.  A lot of crappy food is made available by restaurants that are mass-producing for the tourists.
3. Thumbs up:  Curry Queen Indian
4. Thumbs Down: New York Chinese
5. Looked deservedly popular (Italian): Antica Pizzeria   
6. Looked deservedly unpopular (Italian): Casa D'Oro
7. Don't get the breakfast or dinner "package" at your hotel: you may save a few bucks, but you'll be stuck with whatever quality you get (or don't get - still looking at you, BW!)

                                               

The Parking.  Many, many parking opportunities in the Falls area, and many of them decent.  Drive around a little to find the best rate, but I recommend:

1. The small lot next to the Applebees on Victoria near CH - the cheapest rate near CH from what we could tell.
2. The lot at Fallsview and Robinson, when you want to be closer to Skylon - we never used it but it always seemed to underprice the other lots.
3. Calling your hotel to make reservations instead of doing it online, so you understand what you're getting and not getting, including the advertised "free" parking.

 The Souvenirs.  And what about the tempting array of souvenir stores, you ask?  Well, without reviewing specific stores, since there are many, I'd suggest:

1. Shop around a little if you can.  Most souvenirs in stores along CH can be found a few blocks away for cheaper at non-CH stores, including your typical t-shirts, posters, etc. - especially along Victoria.
2. Set a budget (fixed amount) for yourself and members of your family, so everyone can only spend so much and has to narrow their choices.  It's what we did and we certainly didn't regret it - you tend to value the one item you return with more than a bagful of junk.  Also, no family member or friend wants to receive a souvenir with the Falls stamped on it.  Buy them some fudge.
3. Also, you must buy at least one of each of the following items: a snow-globe, a Falls placemat with your child's name on it, a cheap t-shirt or hat with "Niagara Falls" on it, and a mug for a loved one.  It is vitally important to the sustainability of the Falls that everyone buy as many facsimiles as possible.  God forbid we should have to remember our experiences without plastic props.