State of Mind

Seems like bi-weekly is about right at this point, since the personal news cycle is a little slower, shall we say, than it was a couple of months ago...

Bethany came back from camp on Friday beaming (through tired eyes) and boasting of all the fun she had and great people she met.  It was so great to see her having enjoyed herself thoroughly with the simple things - outdoors fun, simple crafts, friendship, like the little girl I've known and loved.  Not the electronics-obsessed, boy-crazy, crotchety teenager we've had around here, even before the diagnosis and chemo.  Thanks Camp Ooch!  A GBS (Great Big Sea) song she brought back with her:

I give it less than two weeks.  And then getting "plugged in" again, pesky little sibs, and high school in September will likely knock it right out of her. 

Kinda like that "vacation state of mind" we get in and lose so quickly when we get back to work, or the inspiration of a good conference.  Why is it so hard to live in a more relaxed and creative mindset like that?


So after striking York U off my list based on distance/commute, I started inquiring about U of T and their Scarborough campus and got a curt email back saying they only take full-timers.  Looks like with them I'd have to choose between full-time work and a full-time degree program, and get over a unwelcoming first contact.  I don't know why I keep being surprised at the poor customer service here in Canada, I guess the "U.S. state of mind" is still with me. 

Next stop: Ryerson.


Did you know that someone in Canada dies every 8 minutes from cancer?  I think I've heard more cancer stories since we moved back here (again, even before the recent unpleasantness) than I did in 10 years in Massachusetts.  And, probably not coincidentally, much more smoking. 

Which is why I designed and will be sporting this bumper sticker (on one of our vehicles, not my back or briefcase or something):

Not really cause-and-effect since other things cause cancer, but somehow I don't feel sorry for maligning smokers.

Out of the Pit

Well, she's out of the woods for now - so "relieved" may be overstating it, but woo-freakin-hoo!

After a CT scan on Tuesday, we got the feedback from Sick Kids today that Beth has no signs of the LCH in her brain at this point, just some debris in her inner ear from the surgeries. 

And no more meds for now - awesome - thanks for all the prayers and support.

The bonus is that she goes off to overnight camp on Sunday, run by Sick Kids.  It's called Camp Oochigeas and includes water sports, so now she can enjoy getting wet without having to worry about her PICC getting wet.  Double awesome.  A little long and 2 years old, but the best video I could find:

Meanwhile, to give Maggie (#2 daughter) her due, she started a drama camp this week at Actone School of drama in Pickering and is enjoying it tremendously.  She's always had the boldness of a stage performer (or any kind of performer really) so it fits for her.  Hopefully the drama of her adolescence is still a couple of years away.

And I've decided on a theme song for my 40th year - actually it keeps finding me, and I keep resonating with it:

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Ok, ok it's not Shakespeare (or John Donne...), it's U2, but it speaks to the combination of faith and longing that kind of fits where I'm at. 

Actually, I thought about their song "40" (based on Psalm 40) but it's more of a redemption song.  I don't really feel like I was the one in a pit and had to wait patiently for Him to pull me out, Beth was. 

Then again, someone clearly "inclined and heard my cry".  And we will be singing a new song, for sure.

Ok, two video clips this time - can't leave out the early Red Rocks performance: